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You and I
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:date: 2012-05-27 00:00
:author: 2.7182818284590452353602874713526624977572470936999595
:category: e
:slug: you-and-i
:status: published
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We are one,You and I. Minuscule fragments of the same entity. The same
heaving, puffing, fire breathing, giant if you will. Or perhaps a
translucent haze of a being, that floats and rolls over the sands like a
thick eddy of smoke; folding in on itself, falling ;convalescing. Bear
with me and picture this creature. It could be a simple organism or an
inanimate substance without life if you please. It isn't important that
you see it clearly, or understand it. However you might paint this being
in your head, paint it with a mind. Not necessarily a mind as in a
brain, an organ that enables and coordinates functioning, but perhaps
resembling the essence of the word 'spirit' but capable of thought and
emotions, chemical reactions of the mind. Call it our consciousness(if
you must) or by any other handle, but know that it is alone. Not alone
as in separated from another but as the word 'alone' literally meant,
'all ana'; wholly one. Do you see it? Or perhaps its a person, and you
see a him or a her or another form and state altogether. As you see it
take shape, allow it to think or perhaps thoughts just come and go,
voiced even, in an internal voice very similar to our very own, not
unlike when we are alone and talk to ourself. A conversation of sorts
with ourselves. Inside of us but midst two persons. One asks or suggests
and the other answers, agrees, responds. Almost as though it was two
different personalities, perhaps even contradicting each other at times,
gently, perhaps sternly. And as these two personalities spoke or think
aloud within this being, they find form and definition. They could
contradict the other and(or) perhaps complement the other. And as these
personalities arise and become stronger and more and more defined they
might have their own sense of logic. Thinking for themselves now. With
themselves now. And so they spawn more in their likeness but detaching
from themselves every time they multiply. There is a mathematics to it,
a game of probability within this. A pattern that evolves and forms a
code that creates boundaries and rules for this process. The Spawns turn
out to be very similar to each other, their logic based on very similar
rules and definitions. But sometimes their personalities are polar and
sometimes they are analogous. And they've multiplied over eons since
'eos' (greek for 'dawn'). But as they've multiplied they have gotten
fragmented, detached from each other. The smallest variance draws them
apart, perhaps their rigid identities get threatened, become exclusive
and perhaps they neglect that they both exist simultaneously and are
true. Perhaps there is no true and false, right and wrong. Perhaps there
is just 'separated'. And here we are today after eons again, as beings.
Defined in form and function by the rules and boundaries that our
'elders' thought up and forged by the environment they created. Living
in this fantasy, this illusion of truth and reality, while nothing
really 'is'. We sit here now, alone again. But this time, the meaning of
the word has changed. This time 'alone' means isolated. But the process
hasn't stopped, we still think and react to our environment and in the
process form personas within ourselves, personalities defined by thought
and our reactions to the environment and this environment has changed in
our short existence, newer psyches form. And, slowly these psyches
become exclusive. They contradict each other. They have their own voice
and reason. These are split personalities, yes. But, don't look at them
as they have come to be defined within psychology and perhaps with fear.
But as deviations from a former self and identity as a reaction to a
change in our environment. This constant flux allows you a different
voice a different identity. And if and when these environments collide,
so do these identities. There is a crisis of sorts as we helplessly
rummage through all these various voices, some strong, some weak. Some
voices are abrasive, driven from insecurity and discontent. Some
helpless and fatigued. And as we stalk them to find the right one of
them, we neglect all identities are real. Their summation is our nature.
This nature of ours is perhaps what our true voice if there is one is
inspired from. This voice is what I'm looking for. And as I pursue this
voice, my voice; and search for my true identity my closest average or
the best summation; I hope I find you. I hope I find 'us'. xx
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