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-Trapped in between
-##################
-:date: 2012-06-11 10:55
-:author: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058
-:category: pi
-:slug: trapped-in-between
-:status: published
-
-| There is a need in us. It's a constant thriving to fulfill our goals
-  and be happy. As we can feel it unite us, it's actually a drifting
-  apart. The greatest conversation starter and killer. Our dreams are
-  like galaxies in a chaotic universe within ourselves. Some bigger,
-  some smaller.
-| I think this is a good thing to maintain. After all, I like looking up
-  and see not a handful but a trillion of stars. This huge variety is
-  simply a beautiful thing to look at, or something that will scare you
-  into believing that you're insignificant and small.
-| Like the need for this conversation with myself I have several similar
-  other ones of urgence and importance. They pull me apart. They trap me
-  inside. They make me want to invest and they make me want to hide.
-| Sometimes I want a single guiding star that will lead me leading
-  myself. They are too many. I'm trapped in between miraculously
-  blinking galaxies and it feels like they are drifting apart the more I
-  invest, but freezing is no option, it's certain death.
-| I feel that each time I really want to work out something, another
-  dream has got to die and the need to choose makes me unhappy and
-  unfree. They are too many and sometimes it's like a curse having
-  strong ones. I wish it was only two personas, like Hesse describes his
-  fragmentation in "Steppenwolf", but it's not as easy as that (as he
-  states correctly at the end of the book). Still you want to preserve
-  your ability to smile.
-| So, I walk the streets. Flooded with even more dreams. Strong ones,
-  weak ones. Some that make you laugh, some that make you cry and I feel
-  free again. Not because I found a solution, but because I can see that
-  it's not just me. Long lost dreams reemerge into what I want to be.
-  New ones might not seem as clear as they used to be. It's good to let
-  them rest, but not for too long. They will be coming back after all,
-  as a long awaited epiphany or to haunt me.
-| I want to be more than the thriving. I want to be a cluster of stars
-  bridging the gap. For me, for others. In the end, you and me are
-  interchangeable.
-
-